Roller Coaster – Needing time to recuperate.

Seems to me lately that I’ve felt over stressed and under rested. I need to rest in Him more.

I feel like its been a roller coaster. I bought a motorcycle yesterday. And put the key in my pocket only to find later that my pocket had a hole… and now I have a motorcycle but no key. 

I retraced my steps but to no avail. I searched 4 yards and driveways and have concluded they are gone. 

I feel like a lot of times in life I get my hopes up only to realize I have put my hopes in the wrong things. 

Many times things in life are just pockets with ripped ends. They don’t hold what they need to. But Jesus will and does. He is faithful and won’t lose the hope and the things you trust to Him. His love unlock pockets, never wears out. 

As God’s people we must place our trust in Him to be our source, our “Spring of Living Water” and not trust in our own cisterns (pockets) to satisfy us. Keep your eyes on Jesus. 

 

God bless you. 

 

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water. – Jeremiah 2:13

insomnia

We have silence for a companion.
Keeping company like a ghost,
unwanted and unloved.

We keep silence like a pet in a cage,
and do not speak of the depths of it,
but others glimpse deep words on the edges
of its page.

We must cast out silence like an unclean spirit,
that will not go until the light has come.
Intimate with the empty and the lonely ones,
by distracting ourselves until the night is done.

That is when we put on our day face and meet the sun.

(c) D.M. 2019

Devotion: Lord I need you.

A word about enduring hardship and trusting God and the song is “Lord, I need you” by Matt Maher God bless you!

Phil. 1:12-13
Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ.

Dream: The one about new Wine.

A few weeks ago one night, I dreamed I was living in a city like Hamilton, Ontario. In the dream my ex wife and I were back together again.

We moved into the place and it was cluttered and boxes were everywhere. 

The place was similar to the place she and I shared before but was full of boxes and was a bit different. When I went to sleep and woke she had stayed up cleaning and making it all perfect.  I dreamed that she had a great Church mentor she was working with. I was so happy she was actively growing in her faith in leaps and bounds. 

When I woke she was gone and had gone to a women’s conference. The house was so welcoming and perfect – it was beautiful and spotlessly clean. 

I walked to the big sliding glass window of the apartment and looked out over the people and kids playing down below a few stories they were swimming at the pool and laughing and having fun in the pool. It made me smile. It was summer and a beautiful place. 

I got a video call from her and she was with her mentor and they said God had blessed the event they planned and I was so happy for them and we talked a little bit but the signal got bad and so it dropped.

I went to fridge to get something for breakfast and found it full of nothing but new wine that had some brand label like Lorey’s wine. 

I didn’t know that brand but I found I had to be super careful with all the new wine in the fridge because it was overflowing and barely fit. 

I closed the fridge door and was tempted to fall back into habits God had delivered me from. I felt tempted to surf the web for porn but I rejected it in Jesus name and began to pray for my wife instead and thank God for spiritual strength. In the dream I asked that God would renew us. “Oh that you would renew us!? Would you or could you? Please be with her.”

And then I woke. The image of new wine fresh in my minds eye.

Dream: The one in which I was robbed

I was riding on a bus, with my guitar and a suitcase. It was the middle of the night and it was dark and isolated.

I got off the bus at large bus terminal and as I was walking away a dark man in a tan t-shirt and jeans followed me a little ways and smiled a crooked grin, 

“I am gonna scalp you of your wallet and your things when you go to sleep!” And he laughed it was a deep and menacing laugh. It unnerved me. I ignored the guy and went to the bus station. I found a small place and I put my wallet underneath my back.

I thought perhaps I should go home, I could sleep in my own bed but then thought I will be fine here. Besides I was SO tired. So I fell asleep at the bus terminal and when I woke there were people everywhere. All of my possessions had been ransacked. Other people around me were digging through their possessions as well. 

Sadly I found the remains of my wallet, my bags, and fortunately I found my guitar. I gathered it all up in a pile and was overwhelmed that the thief had gotten me. I remember being thankful that the guy hadn’t taken all of my things and upset I had not been more careful. I began to gather my things was on the next bus and talking with the bus driver then woke. 

 

Dream: The one in which I go to China.

Secret Faith

Last night I dreamed I was traveling with a few friends to China. In the dream everything was normal except there was a man checking possessions and asking foreigners to fill out paperwork and asking them key questions. 

“Do you have a Bible?”

“Do you believe in Jesus Christ?”

“Are you a part of any cults or strange groups?”

And a missionary in the dream who was traveling with me does missions work in Thailand and she and I were with a few other people visiting. 

We watched a man be interrogated who was not a traveler but a local.

And he was detained, and sent away to prison because He was found to be a part of a “cult” that met in a home church and brought Bible messages that were not approved. 

After watching this my friend I were inspired by him and went about our shopping marveling at the cost the man paid to declare his faith.

As we were returning to leave, the guard saw us and demanded to know what was in our bags and sat us down to ask us questions. 

I remembered thinking along the lines, “Lord if I means going to some prison in a foreign country  help me be honest and tell him I am a believer.  Let your favor be upon us.”

He looked at my bag saw my worn Bible and then let me go. They made us fill out simple paperwork and then told me to go through the exit. Without a word. 

I met with my friend and she told me she had said to the other guard that she was a believer visiting the country and that we were leaving that day. 

Because of the fact we were able to come and go in freedom we rejoiced and prayed for the people who had no choice of faith as we did. 

heartbeat struggle

Caterpillar,

don’t be so down,
your life is changing,
now.

Caterpillar,
don’t feel so lost,
you grow tired in this
frost.

Soon, hold on!
Soon, hold on!

A moment breaks,
the shell quakes,
life opens new,
look at you!
Look, at you.

Dm 2019

Tonight I went for a jog even though it was freezing. I got to thinking about how often we go through things in life, and they hurt. Tremendously. But instead of killing us. They strengthen, build up, and even make us stronger.

Don’t give up. If you feel discouraged. Keep trusting God, ask Him to help you through the sorrow. Ask Him to allow you to spread your wings through the pain rather than give up. Without the struggle, the caterpillar could never fly.